Marriage is a gamble and no individual story can guide you about the do’s and dont’s before and after marriage. However, every story will narrate certain instances which will make you vigilant while taking crucial decisions before tying the knot.
This week, we chatted with a husband from Jammu, now settled in Delhi, and how he and his family got tricked in an arranged marriage. A happy life, socially respectable family, bright career — all went for a toss after marriage, since our Gender Biased Laws make it almost impossible for a man to come out of any domestic suffering easily. Nonetheless, the man is determined to fight back and shared his ordeal of his marriage journey so far.
Vishal Garg (Named Changed) and his family originally belong to Jammu, India, however, have been settled in the capital since many years. Vishal is a salaried man and after nearly a decade of working and becoming eligible for marriage, his aunt uploaded his profile on matrimonial website shaadi.com in 2012.
The family came across profile of the girl, Payal Aggarwal (Name Changed) who also belonged to Jammu and at the face of it, the match seemed to be likeable and perfect. Vishal was 30, while Payal was 28.
Later in November 2012, Vishal along with his family visited his home state for a cousin’s marriage which is where his aunt introduced him to Payal in person for the first time. The girl held a Master’s Degree in Sociology and had also completed her Bachelor of Education (B’ED). All seemed fine and both families agreed to take the alliance forward.
My wife was shivering a lot all night. I assumed it was the marriage pressure and could be normal, so we slept away through the night. Next morning, we, along with my cousins, left for a trip to Dharamshala in Himachal.We were all together in one car and suddenly my wife shouted…..I am still a virgin!
My in-laws told me, let her sleep for a while and she will be normal. The word ‘normal’ caught my attention but I chose to ignore the same. Through the day she was into herself and non communicative.
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She suddenly started scratching my arms in a state of nervousness. Her shivers returned. This is when I called my parents who came to our room and confronted her what was happening. Payal turned completely mum. We did not understand what was happening to us. Later, my mother had to shake her up to make her speak up.
We were shocked when my wife started speaking. Payal told us how she was molested and sexually abused by her employer and some cousins on earlier occasions. We immediately called her parents in Jammu and her brother who lives in Noida. None of them picked up our calls.More than what we learnt from my wife, we were really angry at the irresponsible behaviour of my in-laws by not answering our calls. Later her mother answered the call, and refuted the matter calling it a lie.
Husband’s Transfer To Amritsar & Birth Of Child
I remember my daughter was born at 8.31am…!
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We were all sitting and having our breakfast. My wife came and suddenly started saying……..Aaj is ghar mein ladai hogi (there will be a fight today in this home). Some politician had recently died and she started pointing at me that I had murdered him….she kept laughing and said…Isne maara (he killed him).She also started blaming me for killing my grandfather who had recently died.
This is not my child, I was going to have a son.
Payal did not realise any of her mistakes and started calling my friends and acquaintances randomly abusing them. My mother asked her to calm down, but she slapped my mother as well. My wife made my mother kneel down and beg for mercy. My mother did that too.This is when I took away my child and all of us just returned to Delhi immediately.
Payal informed us that she was undergoing a mental treatment at Jammu and her doctor there asked her family to get her married so she could be fine. She told us that she was sedated at the time of for marriage.We instantly summoned her family from Jammu. We pleaded asking them why did they spoil our life by keeping us in the dark. They once again blatantly rejected everything. When we named the doctor, the girl’s family somehow accepted that they were guided by the medical practitioner to get their mentally ill daughter married.
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My wife started skipping her medical dose. The state of being bipolar is two fold – one was her passive form while other was highly aggressive.
In past 10 years of my job life, my mother had never called like this or asked me to rush back. When I reached home, my wife had attacked both my parents and was breaking things. We again called her brother and her family to come and see themselves what was happening.Her father just said nothing like this ever happened in their home.
Despite all this, we didn’t overlook but we had no choice…because a child was involved. I had been bearing this for my daughter not myself. We continued to live with the situation.
2016 – Wife Leaves Home – Slaps False Cases
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I told my wife I was happily willing to end the matter legally but have no money as I need to secure our daughter’s future.
Action By Court For Failing To Pay Full Maintenance
During times of COVID, Vishal’s salary has been slashed down drastically. He has been unable to pay full amount due to this reason. Incidentally, the judge personally called him asking him to pay up in full as this was the order from Supreme Court to ensure wives do not suffer.
When husband failed to comply, the judge attached his salary in May 2020 and his wife also started sending notices to his previous organisations, which was extremely embarrassing and humiliating.
We have all evidences of her earnings, yet court is not entertaining our submissions due to COVID. Currently, my mother has filed a domestic violence case against Payal, since our gender biased laws do not permit a husband to do so against his wife.I have now filed an extortion case on my wife and also sent notice to her book publisher. Since then, she has mellowed down and wants to compromise. Officially her lawyer demanded Rs 40 Lakh from us…my lawyer asked them to do another 40 cases as we cannot hand over this amount.
Just finished Interview with Husband:
2016: Wife deserted him, child
2018: Filed false DV. Judge without seeing evidence instantly ordered interim maintenance, post which woman stopped attending dates
2020: Man was unable to pay, judge called him personally & attached his salary
— Men’s Day Out (@MensDayOutIndia) July 7, 2020